*Update* It has been brought to my attention that certain elements in this post might be considered sensitive. I’ve removed some specifics and disabled the comments feature for this post. While I do feel very emotional about the following entry, I do not want things to get out of hand. Anyway, enjoy. – Sam
Yesterday, shit got fucked the fuck up, mother fucker (pardon my language, but I don’t think that I could have used any other words to express the fucked-up-ness of the previous day’s events). Essentially, my company is on the brink of taking the Advertising department (of which I am a current resident) and “restructuring” the living fuck out of it. Does that mean that I will be out of a job? I’m not sure. I really don’t know much. And, what I do know, I officially shouldn’t know. One of my bosses (have you ever seen Office Space? I have many bosses) came into my office yesterday and told my fellow designers and me that the management is doing a little house cleaning. The presses are all being sold, the people that operate them are being laid off, the literature room is being cleaned out, and the designers are going to be “put somewhere else.”
Put somewhere else?
What the hell does that mean? Apparently, they are planning on separating the design team and giving one designer to a division (or a few divisions… You see, the company that I work for, Nameless Inc. (I’ve been advised to keep their identity anonymous) is a huge corporation, not unlike the Microsoft of the ***** and ***** world. Yes, they’re evil. They thrive on bureaucracy, feast on the flesh of capitalism, and do dealings with Satan himself. Nameless however, does not actually produce any products. Nameless is the mother company of fifty or so manufacturing companies. I am one of three in-house designers. I do their magazine advertisements, catalogs, mailers, posters, etc…).
Separating the design team while simultaneously eradicating the Advertising department is a bad, bad idea. This is a classic example of how this bloated company operates. It all boils down to the instinctual human tendency to fear and destroy what we do not understand. I know that seems a bit primal when concerning a functioning multi-million dollar corporation, but let me break it down for you. The other side of the company, the business/management side, is frightened and threatened by the Advertising department. They do not understand what happens here. They think that we spend our days drawing colorful pictures, and our budget on flashy plastic boxes with Apples on them. They simply do not understand the process that goes into producing a piece of literature. This confusion leads to a frantic corporate witch hunt (yep… pitch forks and torches included). “Kill the heathens! Burn them and their non-beige computers! I don’t know what they do over there, but it’s definitely not work! And last week, they tuned me into a newt… what? I got better.”
The part that is really disturbing is that the people that are going to be the most affected by this are going to be the last to know (keep in mind… officially, I don’t know any of this). Equally as disturbing is the fact that the people whose input might be able to make this transition work (a.k.a. members of the Advertising department) are going to be thoroughly and efficiently ignored.
There are a few silver linings here:
1) Maybe I’ll be able to collect some unemployment. I’ve never done that before. Seems kinda nice…
2) I’d get to hang out with some of my unemployed friends. Maybe even start a club.
3) I had been planning on going to grad school next year. This solidifies that decision.
4) I really am sick of this place. Some time off to pursue other interests would be nice, and very welcomed.
5) I don’t feel bad at all (anymore) about stealing office supplies. Who wants a new stapler? (Just kidding!)
I could go on about this, but I won’t. Things will be fine. I’m just feeling a bit frustrated and betrayed. Hey, thanks for listening to me vent… if you read down this far.
The most important thing here, is that I purchased a guitar two days ago. I don’t think that there are going to be any exciting purchases like that in my near future. Although, I might be walking out of work today with a nice desktop G4… maybe a few Sony monitors too… Who knows? I may be able to get all of my xmas shopping done right here at work! (Again, just kidding…)
Well, I said that I’d never do it, but here I am. Posting to my blog, drunk. Drunk as a skunk. I’ve got “Let he who hath understanding” tattooed in black ink on the underneath of my left forearm. I think that it’s pen. I hope that it’s pen. 
I’m not really a Thanksgiving kind of guy. Turkey doesn’t do it for me. Cranberry sauce definitely doesn’t do it for me. Stuffing only moderately does it for me. What does however, 100%, full-throttle, do it for me is bugging the hell out of my mom while she attempts to prepare the Thanksgiving meal. 
I just have time for a little nugget of goodness today… 
Look at my new toy! I just couldn’t resist. She’s so pretty, isn’t she? Now I just need a name for her. Something smooth, stylish, sophisticated… yet fun and spontaneous. I was thinking Abigail, or maybe Bjork. No… it needs to be more… ummm, 
Well, this is it. The world as we know it is never going to be the same (and it has nothing to do with our president). The Decepticons have won… and they are doing a victory dance. 
It’s here. Yep.