Call me Professor Sam

I got the gig. I will be teaching the fine art of Graphic Design to budding graphic designers! Yee-haw! I’m stoked. Wicked stoked. Hella stoked.

You can now call me Professor Sam… or The Professor… or Supreme Overlord… but if anyone calls me Mr. “S” I’m going to react violently.

Has it really been that long?

It has been over a week since my last post. Yep, I’m a slacker. Keep in mind, I could make excuses… I could try to tell you that I have been doing exceptional things with my time… in short, I could lie. But I will not do that to you, O’ beloved reader. Instead, I will tell you about this:

There is a possibility that yours truly will be corrupting… sorry, enhancing the minds of today’s college elite. I was asked to teach Graphic Design to college students. I was a college student just over a year ago. Craziness! Utter insanity… It is not definite. The dude that I would be replacing seems to be a real flake. Classes started yesterday and he has yet to tell the college whether he will or will not be able to teach (it is a long and boring story). Anyway, I should find out today.

The future of America may very well rest in my hands. Isn’t that a comforting thought?

At this juncture, I cannot help but think of the poignant words of Professor Glen Danzig: “Am I demon? I need to know.” Glen, so do I. If I’m demon, I should probably rework my syllabus… before I pollute the minds of those innocent, defenseless, trusting college youths…

Finally, I Can Breathe

It’s over. The MacWorld ’05 Keynote is done. Many happy new toys to pine over… like the Mac Mini, the iPod Shuffle, iWork, iLife, Final Cut Express. Well done everyone. Pats on the back for all!

So, let’s do the final scoring:

From the rumors, I predicted:

– Flash-memory based iPod: Probably

– Hardware Audio Interface (a.k.a. Asteroid?): Not Likely

– iWork Office Productivity Suite: Probably

– $499 Headless iMac (a.k.a. the iHome): Probably

– iPhone: Not a chance in hell

Not too bad. I was sort of right on all of them… missed a few updates though.

Now, let’s discuss the new goodies:

I’m mostly excited about the Mac Mini. $499 and $599. Cute and Tiny. This is the kind of machine that would make an ideal mp3 jukebox/media center type thingy. My only hesitation is the fact that you’ll need to buy a ton of stuff to get this machine up to speed. Keyboard, mouse, Bluetooth, Airport… and all of this needs to be purchased separately. Not to mention that 40gb is a bit weak for the $499 model (assuming you’ll use it as a media center… which is only an idea. I guess 40gb is ok for general use. I’d kill that 40 in a heartbeat… and I ain’t talkin’ ’bout no forty ounces of the O.E.). Still though… this is what Apple needs. If only I wasn’t on such a tight budget these days…

Next up is iWork. I’m all for an Apple branded Productivity suite. Will it do everything that Office can? I doubt it. Will it take the place of Office in the workplace? Probably not. Will it suffice for the student or someone who doesn’t need all of the extraneous stuff that exists in Office? Probably. It’s a much needed and well timed successor to the dated Appleworks. (Cool packaging too!)

Ok… The iPod Shuffle. Why am I not really excited about this? The price is right. The capacity is right. Oh… that’s it, no display of any kind. That alone makes it a “no go” for me. What saves it though, is the ability to double as a usb flash drive. That’s pretty cool. It’s the size of many flash drives too. So, if you look at it as a usb flash drive that also plays mp3s… i guess that makes it ok. Well, at least better. But no display? Come on now…

I think that’s enough for now. The other stuff isn’t too thrilling (for me anyway). I think I’ll let things sink in for a little while. I’m sure this isn’t the last MacWorld ’05 related post. That’s a promise. Or, a threat. I guess it all depends on where you stand on the matter.

Oh… a favor: If anyone is at the expo this week, check out the Crumpler Bags (booth #2339) booth for me. I’ll be very interested to see what they have in store for their product line. Photo’s too (if you can)! Thanks! That would rock… Enjoy the expo!

The Suspense!

Three hours left to go.

It feels like an eternity.

Join me after (and possibly during) the keynote for frantic updates and heated discussions. (Or, for what is more likely: a stream of unintelligible rants and raves about new hardware and software.)

P.S. There will be no live webcast (from Apple). However many sites will be posting live from the keynote audience. I will be getting my news feed from MacMerc. They’ve been good in the past.

I’m In Love With My Drug Dealer

Why is it that I often find myself attracted to women who serve me coffee? What is it about the barista that I find so alluring? I’m sure it has nothing to do with my caffeine predilection. It can’t be that these heroines of coffee feed my addiction… my drug. It’s not that they play with my dependancy. I just need one fix… from you. My beautiful savior… Giver of the lifeblood.

Whoa… I definitely think it’s time to switch to decaf.

MacWorld Predictions, Rumors, and Alliteration

The following follow-up is a list of all the MacWorld (this is the exact point in my blog entry where Sarah stops reading) rumors that I’ve been hearing about, and my personal evaluation of their accuracy. I realize, oh faithful reader(s), that you don’t care about this at all. Well damnit… I do. And, it will be fun to see how open my third eye is. My previous precognitive prediction proved to be profoundly pretentious (yea for alliteration!). Er… I was totally wrong. Second time’s a charm.

Flash-memory based iPod

Prediction: Probably

Reasoning: Apple needs this to keep their iPod line competitive across the board

Hardware Audio Interface (a.k.a. Asteroid?)

Prediction: Not likely

Reasoning: I just don’t see a big enough market for it. It’s more of a third-party, niche type of product. This device strays way too far from Apple’s product line… Although, so did the iPod at the time of it’s introduction…

iWork Office Productivity Suite

Prediction: Probably

Reasoning: In order to completely sever ties with Microsoft, Apple needs an app that will kick Office to the curb. There has been speculation in the past however, that Apple and Microsoft have some kind of unwritten, no competition contract concerning the Office product line. I don’t know if Apple can pull it off though. I hate to admit it, but Office is robust and usable… for a Microsoft product anyway.

$499 Headless iMac (a.k.a. the iHome)

Prediction: Probably

Reasoning: This would put the Mac in the entry level, first computer buyer category. It might make consumers think twice about that crappy-ass Dell and take another look at that slick Apple machine.

iPhone

Prediction: Not a chance in hell

Reasoning: Despite the adamant claims/rumors of people in the field and technical reports, I just don’t think that Apple would ever want to take the plunge into the cell phone market. It’s too unpredictable and unstable for Apple. What is likely however, is an iTunes integrated cell fone of some sort (we’ve seen pics already… but we’ll only know for sure after tomorrow’s keynote). That seems reasonable. But I doubt that we’ll ever see an Apple branded cell phone.

Did I miss anything? Well, aside from the inevitable software updates and processor upgrades, I think that’s it.

So what makes me such an authority. Well nothing really. I’m just a fan of the company and the product. I’ve watched the market and I’ve seen the consumer response. You can almost pick out patterns and predict the future if you watch closely enough. With Apple however, you never really know what’s going to happen. Sometimes they pull something out of their ass (like the iPod) that no one expects and no one has done [successfully] yet.

On a side note, I would love to see the rebirth of the Newton. Or rather, some kind of iPod sized pda device. Hard drive based, Firewire, Bluetooth, maybe wifi, highly integrated into the OS X experience… that would rock my digital world.

Yes, I should. But no, I won’t

This Joy of Tech comic pretty much sums up what I was talking about a few days ago. Give it a read. Bookmark ’em too. That’s an order, soldier!

Anyway, so much new and exciting and interesting stuff is happening in my life right now. I’m finding it difficult to decide what to post about. So for now, you get the above link. Maybe after the coffee starts working I’ll be able to write something a tad more substantial. “But Sam,” you protest, “aren’t you at work? Shouldn’t you be doing what you’re being paid to do (whatever that is)?” The short answer is, “Yes, I should. But no, I won’t.” Now that I’ve got something good to look forward to, it’s becoming increasingly tough to concentrate on the here and now.

And now, a somewhat related piece of dialog from one of my favorite movies; Spaceballs:

Dark Helmet: What the hell am I looking at? When does this happen in the movie?

Colonel Sandurz: You’re looking at now, sir. Everything that happens now is happening now.

Dark Helmet: What happened to then?

Colonel Sandurz: We passed then.

Dark Helmet: When?

Colonel Sandurz: Just now. We’re at now now.

Dark Helmet: Go back to then.

Colonel Sandurz: When?

Dark Helmet: Now!

Colonel Sandurz: Now?

Dark Helmet: Now!

Colonel Sandurz: I can’t.

Dark Helmet: Why?

Colonel Sandurz: We missed it.

Dark Helmet: When?

Colonel Sandurz: Just now.

Dark Helmet: When will then be now?

Colonel Sandurz: Soon.