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Watching a motorcyclist interact with other motorcyclists is an odd phenomenon. Without even knowing one another, they share an instant kinship with their fellow bikers… regardless of whether they are riding a Fatboy, a crotch rocket, or a moped… well, maybe not a moped. When they pass each other on street they give the I’m too cool for a car wave. It’s like they know something that we don’t. It’s as if they belong to an exclusive club, where the entrance fee is simply motorcycle ownership.

I’ve never belonged to the exclusive motorcycle club. Come to think of it, I’ve never belonged to any club… let alone an exclusive one. Until now, that is.

Recently, I’ve found myself exchanging nods of recognition with other owners of the now legendary sandals. Yep… owners of the Keen Newport H2 tend to react to each other in the same way that motorcyclists do. We Nod. We Wave. We smile. We comment: “How you like those Keens?” or “Looking good in those Keens!” We know something that the general populous of inferior sandal wearing chumps just wouldn’t understand. It’s exclusive, a little bit elitist, totally nerdy, yet somehow, enormously satisfying.

Who would have thought that google, a multi-million dollar corporation, builder of brilliant web technology, and an all around nice company, is smarter than me? Clearly, I didn’t.

Remember how jazzed up I was about the whole advertising on sambot thingy? Well, as you may or may not have noticed, there’s a gaping hole in my design where there should be ads for “Sexy Girls and Sexy Guys,” “Baking Supplies,” and “Glenn Danzig Endorsing Viagra.” I received an email from google last night, informing me that “invalid clicks have been generated on the Google ads on your site(s). We have therefore disabled your Google AdSense account.”

Invalid clicks? Huh? Oh… you must mean all of the clicking of my own ads that I was doing. Yeah… I’m not really s’posed to do that, am I?

I’ll be ok. Thanks for your concern. There are other ad services out there. Maybe I can re-apply to google? Maybe this is a sign that I should stop being such a whiny sell-out (what would my pretend punk rock girlfriend think about ads on sambot anyway?). It was no real loss though. I mean, that $11.40 would have been nice. In fact, I already had it spent in my mind. But, I’m not going to cry over it… not anymore, anyway. I will however, leave the gaping void in my sidebar there for a while. No, not because I’m lazy. But, to remind us all that crime doesn’t pay or some other equally as lame cliche about cutting corners or hard work or blah bliggety blah blah blah…

Today, Apple Computer released a multi-button mouse. Never in a bizillion years did I think that I would be alive to see a multi-button mouse from Apple. Never.

News of this sort is not revolutionary in any way – there’s got to be thousands of multi-button mice on the market today, all purporting to be better and more innovative than the next – news like this is however, the stuff of legends. Historically, Apple has maintained (vehemently) that a single-button mouse is the best, most efficient, and most Mac-like option. One of Apple’s main arguments in this matter was that it forces the software to be more intuitive. If the user has less clicking options, the software is forced to be smarter, forced to understand the user’s input better, and forced to be more efficient in design. While this is all well and good, Apple’s reluctance to stay current in this type of computing standard is not necessarily unexpected, but definitely stubborn… almost to such an extent that it seemed to have become a point of pride.

The mouse itself, questionably named “Mighty Mouse,” has a whole slew of new/different/innovative technology stuffed underneath it’s glossy white shell. As near as I can figure, there are no buttons (in the traditional sense) on this mouse. It would appear that the clickable “button” area has been replaced with more of a touch sensitive surface. Only time will tell if this will be effective and comfortable.

Instead of a linear, up/down scroll wheel, Apple has introduced a clickable 360 degree scroll ball. The usefulness of this feature is immediately apparent. So often, scrolling up and down is simply not enough. Again however, this is not a brand new notion. I’ve seen similar devices in mice for years. Although, to my immediate recollection, I have never seen a trackball/mouse combination.

The final notable nuance of this pointing device is the inclusion of “force-sensing buttons” on the sides of the mouse. Out of all the new features of the Mighty Mouse, these seem to be the most ambiguously described. (Force-sensing buttons? I can’t help but feel that Lucas had a hand in naming this feature. Or, maybe that’s what those blinking nubbins on Darth Vader’s chest plate are: Force-sensing buttons. Anyway…) It seems that these two buttons act only as one singular button. The mouse is squeezed together in the middle in order to activate this button. Simultaneous pressure against both surfaces will trip the button’s function. Again, we’ll have to wait and see as to whether this proves to be comfortable and effective.

In addition to this surprise release, it’s equally as surprising that none of the Mac rumor mills picked up on this before the official announcement. Maybe the idea of Apple and the multi-button mouse controversy was a lost cause and tired subject. I know when I read rumors of Apple releasing a multi-button mouse, I dismiss them almost instantly as being nothing more than wishful thinking. This morning was no different. I had to go to Apple’s home page to validate the news. Another surprise: No bluetooth? Come on… where’s the bluetooth version?

The Mighty Mouse is listed on the Apple Store for the modest price of $49.00. That’s not bad. In fact, it’s quite tempting. I think I’ll hold out for the inevitable release of the bluetooth version though. However, if the local Apple store has them in stock, it might be worth a road-trip in that direction. Not to mention, my coffee flavored, punk rock, belle works in that area. Sigh…

UPDATE: The Mighty Mouse does actually click. The touch sensitive area on the button surface simply tells the mouse which button you’re clicking… which is good. I was a little frightened by the idea of a click-less mouse. Anyway, c0nsumer managed to get her/his hands on one today. Check out the mini-review. I’m sure more will follow.

This morning, I registered my courses for the upcoming term. One semester’s worth of classes costs a grand total of $8,820.

Ok, it is now time to check in on the ol’ google AdSense. Now, I’m no fancy-shmancy scientician, but if I’ve done the math correctly, google’s AdSense has made me rich beyond my wildest dreams. We’ll see how much grad school actually costs after I deduct the gobs of cash that I made with advertising. Ready?

For the month of July 2005, I made a whopping $11.40.

Let’s see…

 8820.00
–  11.40
$8808.60

So, in short, I’m screwed (literally). If you need me, I’ll be out on the street corner… selling my body for tuition.

Really though, who am I to put a price on a quality education?

Well, it happened again. I’ve fallen in love with a woman who serves me coffee. This particular vixen of caffeinated beauty, sports a timeless Operation Ivy tattoo. To her, it’s an image that signifies unity. To me however, it signifies punk rock awesomeness.

Anyway, in a very Sam-typical attempt at flirting, I asked about the tattoo. She told me just what I told you. I smiled (or made my best attempt anyway) and took my coffee to a table, where I sat with my back facing the counter.

Woe is me.

Maybe college will offer a graduate class in Advanced Flirting. Who am I kidding? Flirting 101 would be way more appropriate.

In a constant effort (oftentimes a struggle) to keep sam bot dot com on the bleeding edge of shear awesomeness, I’ve decided to deploy an exciting component of the blogger’s arsenal. Behold, the flickr Photostream:

Oooo…. Ahhh… Yes, I know. Truly stupendous, isn’t it?

flickr is a very cool, very free, and very still-in-beta (although, flickr has been running full-throttle ever since it’s conception. Don’t let the “beta” moniker scare you away) web service. I won’t really get into any details here. flickr’s website is jam-packed with info. Here’s a good place to start if you’re interested. And, if you’re an iPhoto user, this plug-in is an essential tool for flickr/iPhoto integration.

Now then, if you’ll look to your right, at the bottom of the sidebar, you’ll notice a permanent version of the photostream. Permanent in location only. The “Latest” column’s photos change with every upload. The “Random” column randomly pulls random photos from my entire library. In fact, if you were to reload this page, they would change. Again: Oooo, Ahhh… I sincerely thank you for your insincerity.

A few interesting things to note: Seeing as this is a stream, much like a feed on a blog, you can subscribe to it. Supply your feed-reader with this URL and it will automatically show you updates to my photostream. Isn’t that convenient? You’re so lucky to have me in your life.

So, what does this mean exactly? Nothing for you really. But for me, I get to carry my camera with me wherever I go… another addition to my already overflowing pockets (which have grown exponential since last I covered this pivotal subject). Yes, I get to be that guy… that really annoying dude with a camera constantly in everyone’s face… or that jerk that holds up the expedition to take photos of a particularly interesting piece of fungus. I can’t wait. And neither, I’m sure, can you.

For the record, I am fully aware that flea markets are not, nor have they ever been or will be, known for their quality merchandise. No one goes to a flea market expecting high-end wares. Yet, when I see a pile of trash such as this one being auctioned off, I have to wonder who deemed it appropriate to display this junkyard refuse as purchasable product. Come on! It’s a pile of trash! A freakin’ pile! It was probably in that identical configuration at the dump when it was picked up too.

And furthermore, garbage in a box is still garbage. Despite the fact that its purveyor has chosen to house the crud in a fancy-shmancy cardboard bin that prevents his trash from bleeding into the neighboring junk-peddler’s trash, it’s still grade-A, 100%, ain’t-no-foolin’ garbage. Nothing more. Nothing less. It’s not magically transformed into a treasure trove of trinkets or a rockin’ receptacle of randomness. Nope. It’s trash… in a box.

The rest of the flea market was great though. I mean, check out these happy customers! (Sorry Mike)

Wow. How can I post about my low-brow love of drinking beer in the shower, followed immediately by a post condemning the sale of trash in boxes? I’m a walking, talking, blogging contradiction. Boy-howdy!

I make it standard practice to set my daily goals low. Really low. So low in fact, that sometimes I’m able to achieve them simply by waking up. “Sam, your goal today is to get out of bed before 2 p.m.” See? Easily attainable and I get to start the day with a satisfying feeling of accomplishment. And everything else that gets done is just icing on the cake. Icing. On. The cake.

Today’s goal was a bit trickier than it has been in recent days. I woke up in my usual pool of sweat (who new that moving the 70 miles south from Massachusetts to Connecticut would put me in the heart of the deep south? Damn, it’s hot in this back-ass-ward state. I miss the commonwealth…), and I said unto myself, “Sam, today’s goal is one of immense importance. You, my friend, need to drink a beer in the shower. But wait… a quest of this gravity requires something special. Not just any beer will do. Nay, it is the ‘Champagne of Beers’ of which you seek. The High Life. Now go! Time is short and the sun is beating hard upon my… well, I’m still in bed. But if I where to go outside, surely the sun would beat hard upon something of mine.” And thus a quest was born.

Er… I guess that’s it really. I went to the fridge, picked out the shiniest can of Miller High Life… or more accurately, the can that was in the front, and hopped in the shower. Ahhh… one of life’s greatest pleasures.

As an afterthought, I’m really glad that I purchased that new high tech digital camera. I mean, how else would I have been able to share important snippets of my life like this, with the vastness of the blogosphere?

Money well spent.

It’s that time again. Yep. Site updates, maintenance, modifications, selling out, etc… If you’re observant, you’ll notice a few changes around here at sambot. If you do not notice anything, you might want to try the ol’ shift reload trick. If you still aren’t noticing anything different, well… fine. I guess sambot was never that important to you. Sniff sniff, sob sob…

The truth is that the visual changes are fairly minor. Just some clean up really. What should be noticeable on every page however, is the little search box at the bottom of the side bar. Give it whirl. It works well… and while you’re at it, click on some of the text-based ads on the resulting search page (why? I’ll get to that in minute). Also, I found this tasty little script that loads a different style sheet depending on what OS you’re running. You shouldn’t notice a change on the Mac side. However if you’re a PC user, things should look slightly different. Hopefully, different better.

The most notable change however, is the addition of text-based ads on each of the posts’ pages. Click here. That will take you to this post’s item page. If everything is working properly, you’ll notice five text-based ads at the top of the sidebar. Gasp! You sell-out! You blog whore!

Ok, I really struggled with this decision. I was kept up at nights… tossing and turning… poring over the pros and cons of advertising on sambot. And well, I decided that I’d give it a shot. But before you lash out in punk-rock, smash the state, anti-corporate America, teen-angst fueled disapproval, let me answer a few questions that I know you’ll have… because these were the questions that I had for myself.

Why are you doing this?
Unemployed. Nothing better to do… No, I thought while I am enjoying my summer off, I’d explore this avenue as a way to potentially bring in some income while at school.

So, how much money will you make?
Tons! Remember Scrooge McDuck’s money bin? Well, mine is going to be twice as big and full of paper money, not just coins as was the contents of Scrooge’s. Also, I’m not planning on swimming in it. That would be gross. Do you know how many dirty hands have fondled that money? That is simply disgusting… Ok, the real answer is not much. It really all depends on how many times you click the ads. Just kidding. As of this writing however, I’ve made a whopping 8 cents! Nice. Good-bye college debt.

Will sambot even benefit from advertisements?
Who knows? The service is free, so what have I got to lose?

What is the ad service that you are using?
I’m using google’s AdSense. There are others out there but google’s service seemed to be the easiest to employ and maintain.

How does it work?
First, you prove yourself worthy by clicking on all of my ads, all day long, and well into the night. Then, you apply to the program. If google thinks your site will generate revenue, they enable your service. The ad types are fairly customizable. You take one that works for you, and insert the code into your html. The code itself, is tiny and very easy to tweak. You can monitor your income on the AdSense page. It’s that easy.

Do you expect your readers to relentlessly click away at your ads?
No. I don’t expect all six of my reader’s to do anything they don’t want to do. If the ad is relevant to you, click it… I mean, yes, I expect my readers to quit their jobs and sit in front of their computers for hours on end, clicking, and clicking, and clicking…

Will this effect your posts?
Not at all. Sambot will still be your one-stop source for all that’s important in the blogosphere.

Why are ads only on the item pages?
This is a long winded answer… AdSense works by evaluating the content of each page individually and inserting only relevant ads in that space. This way, you’ll never see an ad for Viagra on a page where the post is about how Glenn Danzig is the father I never had. Come to think of it, Viagra might be an appropriate ad for that page… nevertheless, I think you understand the technique. My home page houses thirty days worth of posts. And as we all know, my posts range dramatically from entry to entry. The ads on the home page would be irrelevant given the scattered subject matter. Keeping the ads on the item pages, keeps them relevant. In addition, the item pages are the pages that web users get to when they search. Also, it keeps the home page clean, clutter free, and efficient.

So, in short, you’re a sell-out. Why, oh why, are you such an enormous sell-out?
Eh… what can you do?

It’s no secret to anyone that my favorite Adobe application is the powerful and feature-rich Adobe Space Monkey. Yes, Space Monkey is the graphic designer’s best friend. With Space Monkey, I can…

Wait a minute. Space Monkey!? What the bloodclot is Adobe Space Monkey? And furthermore, why is it launching when I attempt to run Photoshop?

Ok… so here’s the truth: I’ll admit it. I was mucking about in some of the Adobe preference files. And yes, I did move a few of those files around. And yes, my intentions were less than pure. But what in the fiery pits of hell is Adobe Space Monkey?

My best guess is that those crazy programmers over there at Adobe Systems Incorporated have a crafty sense of humor. In an effort to thwart mucking about in places where one should not muck, they have inserted this safety feature that loads Space Monkey as punishment.

Ha ha ha… very funny. Now where’s my Photoshop?