Umm… I’m in Ohio right now. Saturday, I’ll be in Kentucky. Yep.
And that’s all I’ve got.
Oh right… happy Thanksgiving. I hope you’ve all had enough bird carcass to tide you over till next year… you filthy carnivors. And yes, my Tofurkey was absolutely spendid, thanks for asking.
So there’s this thing on the internet (the internet!? No way…) called ReviewMe. It’s this website (a website!? On the internet!? No way…) that enables us bloggers to “get paid to review products and services on [our] site.” The first thing they ask you to review in exchange for some cash (they claim) is the ReviewMe service itself. So, consider this it:
The review of the ReviewMe service (a.k.a. my first review)
Actually, this ReviewMe thing is a pretty interesting concept. Here’s the lowdown: You, as a well-established and highly influential blogger, submit your site to ReviewMe for review. Not all blogs will be allowed to participate. Apparently, they have to make sure the blog in question has enough traffic to make it worth their while. But I wouldn’t be too worried about it. After all, they accepted sam bot dot com with open arms, and I’ve got like what… three readers? Anyway, sam bot dot com fits into the “2 out 5” category. This ranking is based on Alexa, Technorati, and RSS subscriptions statistics. My ranking makes my payout a whopping $30 per review.
If you, as a product marketer, wanted to have your product reviewed on sam bot dot com, you pay ReviewMe $60, they let me know about it, I’d say sure (or nah), I review and post and send ReviewMe the URL, and then, presumably, they send me a check. Seems fairly straightforward. (But honestly, if you really want your stuff reviewed on this blog, I’d rather you just send me the $60 and I’ll write you the most glowing review that your boneheaded product will ever receive. Umm… just kidding? I’m fair and balanced and full to the brim with integrity… like Fox News.)
The bottom-line is that this ReviewMe thingy seems like a pretty solid deal. However, I’ll reserve my final judgement for the triumphant moment when I’m actually holding that $30 check in my grubby li’l paws. That $30 is, by the way, already spent.
(Oh… and I’m required to tell you that this is a paid review. But we just went over all of that didn’t we? Geez… pay attention!)
Two of my favorite people in the whole entire world are getting hitched. No, not Glenn and Steve… although they would produce some mighty attractive offspring (*shiver*). Nope, it’s my peeps from the north, Mike and Colleen! They’re getting married! And that’s awesome! (I am going to get so hammered at their wedding.)
Congratulations, my friends. And Colleen, I hope you know what you’re getting yourself into…
Yea! Quinnipiac just updated their website! And it’s about goddamn time too. That piece was showing signs of age. But now… it’s all modern, and colorful, and rectangular. But is it better? Sure is. Didn’t you hear me? It’s rectangular now.
(Honestly, the site is looking pretty slick… especially by comparison. Way to go, QU designers!)
Despite my complaints, I wholeheartedly enjoy life as a graduate student in my particular program of study… which is called Interactive Communications… which is exactly what I tell people when I’m asked what it is that I study… which is typically reciprocated with a furrowed brow, a frown, and a slowly nodding head that nods, not in acquiescence, but more as a means of signifying that the inquirer is busily processing what I have told them and is outputting a total cumulation of data resembling the quantity zilch. Wait for it. It’s inevitable. Ready? Here it comes: “So… what exactly is Interactive Communications?” they say. “Well, it’s a whole bunch of internet stuff,” I reply, hopefully satisfying/confusing them to the point where we can smoothly transition the line of conversation into something a bit more palatable… like the weather or Paris Hilton… which coincidentally, are similarly obnoxious. Oftentimes however, my vague answer just doesn’t cut it and my conversational sparring partner wants more. It is at this precise point that I find myself wishing I had chosen to study something a bit more cut and dry, like math. “What do you study?” someone might ask. “Math,” I would reply. “Oh. Isn’t that nice for you,” they would say without hint of any further interest in their voice. And I’d be off the hook.
But no, Interactive Communications isn’t easy to explain. And honestly, quoting the brochure isn’t much help either:
“The Quinnipiac University School of Communications’ Master’s of Science program in Interactive Communications is based on the study of interactive media content and the practical techniques of creating, distributing and managing information and ideas for interactive news, strategic communications, entertainment and information services. Through a balance of courses in theory, criticism, and content development, students learn how to understand, plan and create non-linear content in several forms and to think strategically across media platforms.”
Yeah. That’s not as concise as it ought to be. So, without pushing this entry any further, let’s take a moment to define what it is that I spend every iota of free time wrapping my brain around:
Interactive communications is… well, it’s a whole bunch of internet stuff.
I hope that helps.
Glenn Danzig is many things — punk legend, pectoral-implant spokesman, the devil incarnate, father figure, short — but did you know that he is a poet too? Today, on sam bot dot com, I’d like to initiate what is destined to become a beautiful Halloween tradition: the reciting of Danzig poetry. (It really is a shame Halloween only comes around once a year… isn’t it?)
Halloween
by Glenn Danzig
Bonfires burning bright
Pumpkin faces in the night
I remember halloween
Dead cats hanging from poles
Little dead are out in droves
I remember halloween
Brown leafed vertigo
Where skeletal life is known
I remember halloween
This day anything goes
Burning bodies hanging from poles
I remember halloween
Halloween, halloween, halloween, halloween
Candy apples and razor blades
Little dead are soon in graves
I remember halloween
This day anything goes
Burning bodies hanging from poles
I remember
Halloween, halloween, halloween, halloween
Halloween, halloween, halloween, halloween
My housemates are throwing a keg party tonight. So, should it be of any surprise that someone has already puked on my stuff? No, not really. My stuff is always the first to get puked on. But geez, did they have to puke on sam bot dot com? I mean, come on! This blog is all the way over there on the internet! You really have to go out of your way to puke on a blog…
Okay okay… the puke wasn’t really a result of the impending kegger. It is, however, the result of feeding my URL to this amazing site called Netdisaster. You can do all kinds of damage to any website you want. My favs are, in no particular order, chainsaw, flies, cigarette burn, and of course, vomit. But really, they’re all fantastic!
Oh… and yes, there really is going to be a bona fide kegger at the ol’ homestead tonight. Will I be taking part? No no, not me. I prefer a quiet night at the library, studying, as opposed to a raucous evening of drunken debauchery. And besides, I’ve never quite mastered the dignified art of the keg stand.
Today is a very special day in history. Let’s see, according to the Wikipedia, October 26th is the birthday of Pat Sajak, Hillary Clinton, Bootsy Collins, and… WTF!? There is a glaring omission in that list of 10/26 birthdays. Lucky for me, this is the Wikipedia: an all encompassing online encyclopedia, for the people, by the people, where no knowledge, no matter how arcane or useless, is exempt! In fact, their main page even reads, “Welcome to Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.” If you find an error in an entry, well, just log in and change it! It’s the people’s encyclopedia… no need to be an authority on a subject, just be a schmo with internet access and an opinion! And, being a schmo of similar classification, I’ll just log in and correct this minor oversight. Gimme a sec…
[insert mind-numbing elevator muzak here]
“…that anyone can edit!?” Not likely. My edit of the October 26th page lasted just about .25 seconds. Screw you Wikipedia! I’m starting my own free encyclopedia… one that only I can edit. It will be the true source of all knowledge on the internet, because its authors will be reputable… a.k.a. they’ll all be me! And my first entry will be the following:
October 26 Birthdays
2004 – sam bot dot com, the best thing that has ever happened on the internet
Ha! Take that, Wikipedia.
(Anyway, happy birthday sambot! I can’t believe its only been 2 years. It feels like a lifetime.)
The iPod turned 5-years-old yesterday. What the hell am I still doing with this ancient, heavy as a brick, second generation, prehistoric iPod (circa 2001)? I’m kicking it old school… that’s what!
I saw a t-shirt somewhere that said, “I had an iPod before you even knew what one was.” Man, that totally rings true. I can still remember five years ago when I would whip out my iPod and people were like, “Dude, what the hell is that thing?” At the time, it was pretty sexy and induced quite a few jealous stares from my gadget-obsessed, albeit uniformed peers. Yeah, I was the coolest kid on the block. Interestingly, when I whip out my iPod nowadays, I get the same, “Dude, what the hell is that thing?” But instead of my peers drooling lustfully and implying awe with their remark, they scoff at my ancient relic and comment, hurtfully, at the lack of a color display. All this, while they pull out their brand new video iPods and play some hot new movie that they torrented and transfered onto that slick device. God, I just hate them all! I hate them so much. And I hate that smug look of satisfaction on their conniving little faces too.
Right. So anyway, happy belated birthday, old friend. Hopefully you’ll die soon so that I can replace you with something younger and prettier.
