Month: May 2005

This week has been especially tough. Aside from the moving, packing, and complaining that I’ve been enthusiastically partaking in, there’s also the personal challenge that I’ve been struggling through. Ready for this? I have deleted beer, candy/junk food, and (gasp) coffee from my diet… temporarily anyway. My body has just been unhappy lately. I felt it was time for a reset.

Omitting the beer was no problem. The candy? That was a little tricky, but manageable. But the coffee… oh, the coffee… the smooth, rich, luscious, caffeinated awesomeness that is coffee… that was one motherfucker of an addiction. The physical part wasn’t too bad. It was the mental part that was really difficult. Sitting down at work without my morning cup-o-joe was weird, and wrong. The feeling is akin to leaving the house for the day without underwear… externally everything is okay. Internally however, things just feel wrong. I can’t concentrate, I’m itchy, it’s drafty, etc…

I have always believed in balance though. Removing one addiction simply leaves room to replace it with another, and thus, balance is restored. So, in the wake of my coffee removal, I have successfully supplanted it with another, more powerful addiction: The Odwalla Fruit Smoothie.

These things are like fruit salad flavored, liquid crack. And while it seems like Odwalla would be a great alternative to coffee, I’m not so sure. I mean, I am totally physically and mentally addicted to these bad boys already. And I’ve been on the sauce for less than a week! I’m up to three 15.2 fluid ounce containers a day. That’s 45.6 fluid ounces (I pee a lot more now too). And near me, these mofos go for about $3.00 each (and I’ve seen ’em for even more). So that’s a $9.00 replacement addiction compared to the $3.30 ($1.65 per coffee, twice a day) former addiction. I don’t know about this.

I’m trying to do the right thing for my body. I am. Really. But my finances and my bladder are wholly displeased with this new adjustment.

I’m sure I’ll work through this. Right now however, it’s time for daily Odwalla number two. What do you think, Mango Tango or Strawberry C Monster?

Right… so as you may or may not have noticed, blogging has taken a back seat to the rest of my life (maybe I should look into autoblogger?). Anyway, the reason behind my mysterious absence from the blog scene is simply because I don’t love you anymore. Well, I love you, I’m just not in love with you. I mean, we’ve had some good times, but I think we’ve grown apart. Maybe we just need some time off…

Oh wait… that’s a spiel for a whole different situation.

The real reason for my absence is that I’m moving (it’s weird that I haven’t posted about this yet). I’ve got a ton of things to take care of, loose ends to tie up, people to have knocked off, etc…

I’m moving from a super-cool, trendy, liberal, tiny city in Western Massachusetts to a less cool, trendy (if you think antiquing is trendy), politically undecided, microscopic town, in Southern Connecticut. Northampton to Wallingford. It will be quite an adjustment.

The truth is, I am very excited for this next step in my life. Wallingford should be a great place. I won’t bore you/me with the details, but we’ve got a nice cemetery, a book store, a coffee shop, and a goth bar that might have gone out of business… and New Haven (home of Yale University) is right next door. That will be a fun city to explore. Or get mugged. Either way, it will make for a good blog entry.

1) I definitely drank beer through a straw tonight.

2) I definitely wore socks with my awesome (yet controversial) new footwear.

Aside from those two things, I think that I’m doing alright.

“Sam… grow up and eat your deep fried cupcake!”

Carrie – May ’05

CORRECTION: It was my pal Carrie who unleashed this nugget of wisdom, not Mike. But, I’ll still leave a link to the Tepid Inferno… cuz, I’m just that kind of guy.

When I first read the book Speaker for the Dead (Orson Scott Card’s second book in the Ender’s Game series… come on people, keep up!), I was appalled by how emotionless it was compared to Ender’s Game. It was like reading a high school history text book – all facts, no commentary, no insight, dry, and bland. I remember finishing Speaker for the Dead and finding myself utterly disappointed. It was then that I flipped the book over to the cover, in hopes of finding “Orson Scott Blard’s Spokesman for the Deceased” or something like that… something that would account for that atrocity. And then, like a kick in the crotch, the answer came to me. One word. At the bottom of the cover. Barely noticeable: ABRIDGED.

That was what Star Wars, Episode III, Revenge of the Sith, felt like. It was like watching the abridged version of something really spectacular. All of the elements were there – action, romance, tragedy, betrayal, light sabers, etc… – but none of the emotion. Like, for example: I know Padme and Anakin are ‘sposed to be in love, but I just wasn’t feeling it. And the dialog was…

You know what? This film is going to be analyzed, re-analyzed, and over-analyzed on every fanboy Star Wars site from here to the Degobah system. So, on sambot.com, let’s try to focus on some of the cooler parts of the film… because that’s really what it’s about, right? It’s about enjoying a movie with kick-ass special effects, amazingly choreographed fight scenes, intriguing mythology, and an immense legion of action figures and toys that will continue to fund Lucas and his minions’ every endeavor well into the next millennium (falcon).

So, let’s explore some of the cooler parts, shall we?

1) There was a ton of bad ass shit in this mother fucker! When Anakin sliced Dooku’s hands off… oh man! That was hot! The four armed robot, General Grievous. That fight scene was sweet! When the clones turned on the Jedi and killed them, one by one. That was vicious! When Anakin did the Jedi neck squeeze thing to Padme. Bad fucking ass!

2) Comedy! The first portion of the movie was pretty funny. It took me by surprise. Everything I had read prior to watching the film mentioned how absolutely dark and morose Sith was. So, I was taken aback when there was so much humor in the beginning. I didn’t like it at first, but in retrospect, I think that it worked well.

3) Origins! We got to see everything set up for the original Star Wars movie, A New Hope. All (most?) of the puzzle pieces were put in place. Yoda in exile. Obi-Wan on Tatooine. Luke and Leah split up. Even C-3PO’s memory erased. Very cool.

4) Cameos! Chewbacca. The Millennium Falcon. The Death Star. (I don’t really know if those last two can be considered cameos… but whatev.) I know that I’m omitting many and I’m sure that I missed many more. But you get the idea.

Anyway, my initial tendency here is to be overcritical about something as dear to my heart as Star Wars. So overcritical in fact, that sometimes I miss the point: To simply enjoy the movie for what it is. Well, I did nearly miss the point. But, I think that I caught myself just in time. I enjoyed Revenge of the Sith. And, I’ll probably go see it many more times. Why? Because I’m a tremendous dork.

It’s tough being a tremendous dork trapped in this high-rolling, millionaire playboy, lifestyle. I mean sometimes I just want to get down and nerd it up… but then I catch a glimpse of my perfectly groomed yet untamable hair in the mirror and remember that I’ve got a BMW Z5 in the garage next to my Ducati sports bike (and who can forget the trophy wife?). When I stop and reflect on my extreme awesomeness, all of that nerding-it-up nonsense evaporates… instantly.

I’ve just discovered that, when eating garlic bagels with cream cheese, I can reattach all of the fallen garlic bits back onto the bagel by dumping them into the overflowing with cream cheese bagel hole… where they adhere instantly to the overloaded cream cheese… and… ummm… I can’t believe that I haven’t blogged all week and then, when I finally come back to the scene, it’s with a personal revelation concerning garlic bagels. Awesome!

I turned old today.

Twenty seven.

So very old.

But the most important part is that my coworker made me a cake half covered with Skittles. Nice!

I’ve got so much more to blog about… but currently, this is all I have time for. Fear not, your thirst for all things sambot will be quenched as I leave you with this sambot related thought/followup:

Out of all the things that I post about, I cannot believe that the new shoes post caused such a stir. Here are some of the highlights from your comments:

i dont even know where to begin… that they made their way from some lunitics sketch book to the store? im sorry, you are no longer allowed to go shopping by yourself.

…they offer no protection against… knives that you happen to clumsily drop towards your feet, rocket propelled grenades, anti-tank shells, 50caliber rounds, tomahawk missles, terrorism, windows98…

I mean would I choose to wear them? NO. Would anyone I know choose to wear them other than Sam? NO. But I think they make the kind of fashion statement that Sam likes…although I am not quite sure what that statement is yet.

After putting them on, he used the jumping test (where you jump up and down and up and down in one spot to test their comfiness). After 3 hours of that, I think he was set.

It’s good to know that I have such a strong foundation of support here in the blogosphere. You guys rock (for real… I laughed my ass off as I read those)! Thanks y’all!

These are quite possibly the ugliest things that I have ever put on my feet. But hot damn… do I love ’em! They’re like a hybrid hiking shoe/sandal thingy. Now, I can tromp through the woods in sandals without smashing up my toes!

The great thing about wearing ugly things is that you never have to worry about them going out of style.

Deep down inside, I know that you care. And, I can already hear the relentless ridicule from Carrie.

I’m happy to report…

…that my phone, a Motorola v551, now syncs flawlessly with iSync… contacts and calendars.

…that iCal can now publish directly to FTP. No longer are you required to be a .Mac subscriber, nor the proprietor of a WebDAV server.

With the premier of episode III just around the corner, I found this Star Wars take-off to be exceptionally well timed, and very well done. Grocery Store Wars a live-action / stop-action / vegetable-puppet short film pits a young Cuke Skywalker (accompanied by Obi-wan Cannoli, Chewbroccoli, Tofu D-2, etc…) against the evil Darth Tater.

Without getting too involved, Grocery Store Wars basically concerns the merits of organic farming versus genetically modified fruits and veggies.

Very well done, funny, strong positive message… go watch it!