Month: April 2005

Nerds everywhere are sent into a whirlwind of panic. My response: Don’t panic.

Ah… Don’t Panic. The now legendary advice from that super-duper, more-useful-than-the-internet book (computer?), The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Today however, I find myself repeating that mantra over and over. Don’t Panic, don’t panic, don’t panic… Yet on this day, it provides no comfort.

Today is Tiger day. Today is also opening day for the new Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy movie. Clearly, the nerd in me is torn. I am now forced to choose between two huge passions in my life; Macintosh nerdism versus Sci-fi fanaticism. What to do… what to do?

In actuality however, there is no decision that needs to be made. Tiger trumps all… or should I say, tromps all? Chomps all? Anyway… the unleashing of this vicious feline is something that I have been looking forward to for so long. Nothing will stand in the way of me spending company money to purchase a copy. Nothing. (Not even the overpowering cuteness of Marvin, the clinically depressed robot. I guess in the meantime, I’ll have to be satisfied with the adorableness of the little Automator robot. I’ll be ok. Really.)

I just inhaled a coffee cake muffin like it was a can of Perri-Air. Not really. I’m sure that I ate it. I remember swallowing, but I definitely don’t remember chewing. I’m too excited to chew.

Unless you live in dimly lit cave, you’ll know that today brings Tiger. And with it comes enlightenment. I’m gonna install so many widgets and automate so much stuff and find everything with spotlight and read feeds with safari and probably break some stuff… which is a nice segue into my next point. Back up before you install!

Ok… more later. Right now I have to finish coughing up the bits of muffin that found their way into my lungs.

I was so happy to read this article. And yes, anonymous commentor, I can read. (see first comment down)

Well peeps, tomorrow is the big day. This is it. The festivities begin at 6pm (not 9pm as I had once reported).

So now it’s time to ask thee this: Who among you is with me? Who is strong enough to stand for hours amidst the huddled masses of Macintosh enthusiasts? Who will brave the drive through Hartford during rush hour? Who will go and fetch me coffee when the need for caffeinated nourishment grows too great? Who will stand proudly by my side as we wait, for eons, as passersby taunt and poke us (verbally) with pointy sticks of beleaguerment?

Will it be you, comrade? Do you have what it takes? Make me proud, soldier. Make me proud.

I just read that Internet Explorer for Mac will not ship with Tiger.

It’s like a dream come true.

Like a sack of kittens tossed into a pond, it’s starting to sink in… that I’m going to be very poor, very soon. In a mere 38 days, 3 hours, and 23 minutes I am going to be jobless. Hallelujah! Free at last!

The prospect of career emancipation is not only liberating to my work-torn body (spine curved from years spent shackled to a faux wood laminate wrap-around desk (meant to enhance productivity by allowing for an expanded work area, but really serving as a quasi-prison; the occupant can leave, but that process is so difficult, uncomfortable, and graceless that it seems easier just to stay and work), fingers crooked and gangly from maneuvering that little plastic rodent and smashing those tiny buttons on that anti-ergonomic plank of confusion, wrists bent permanently, and eyes (oh the horror!), blank, bloodshot, and forced to cower behind thick walls of corrective glass. Now where was I? Ah yes: The prospect of emancipation is not only liberating to my work-torn body…) but to my heart and soul as well. I can only imagine what that freedom will feel like: soaring as carefree as a bird, with nothing holding me back… aside from the all too real fact that I cannot fly.

Despite how amazingly wonderful it will be to be unemployed, the alarming reality of a future absence of income is slowly chiseling away at my delight. The horror of a paycheck-less lifestyle is only amplified by the inevitable onset of dept. Mounds and mounds of it. This grad school thang sure ain’t free.

So, what are my options? Well, there’s always the whoring myself out option. Though certain skills, or lack there of, might dissuade the return customer. Yeah… let’s see if I can find a more lucrative/legal alternative. We’ll put prostitution in the “maybe” pile.

Here’s what I’ve got so far:
1) Freelance. This is a sure thing. And for the most part, I enjoy it. The only problem here is that I can’t rely on it. The income can be very good, but is never consistent.
2) Tutoring. Wanna learn some web design? Wanna learn to play the drums? Want to learn how to program your VCR? At this point, I really don’t care what I teach.
3) eBay. I’ve got tons of stuff that I don’t need… but how long will it last?
4) Part-time Job. Ummm… no thanks. Let’s treat this as a last resort.

What am I missing? Any ideas? Get rich quick schemes? Help!

APOLOGY: Sorry about that really disturbing kitten photo.
APOLOGY (part II): Sorry about that really disturbing “sack of kittens” simile.

UPDATE: As I was writing this post, I received a call from the administration at the college at which I teach. A professor/friend there just got into a really bad car accident. Details are minimal. I’ve been asked to take over her class tonight… maybe longer if it’s not canceled. I really hate the idea of profiting from someone else’s tragedy but… there may be some classes next semester in need of an instructor. Arghhh! This feels weird.

Amber and I just raided the “Promotional Materials” closet here at work. It was like xmas… or at least what I imagine xmas to be like. You see, Jesus doesn’t really like us Jews… I think we got into a bar fight once and crucified him or something. I was too drunk to remember. Anyway, as a disciplinary measure, he makes Santa skip over our Jew chimneys on xmas. Honestly, it’s a real low blow. Come on now… I just want to celebrate your birthday and play with the shiny, star topped, toy filled tree. Pleeeaaase! I’ll let you try my dreidel… you can gamble with it…

Right. As I was saying…

Amber and I raided the Promo closet and walked away with some mighty fine booty. Mighty fine indeed. On the top of the list is a retractable, click-top Sharpie! (Nothing says lovin’ like a Sharpie mustache on an unsuspecting sleeping comrade) Also included in the plundering, were a few t-shirts, bottle openers, a magnetic clip thingy, and key chains.

Arrr… I loves me the booty!

It’s events like these that are going to make me miss my eccentric little city.

The burning question on everyone’s mind: When the Tiger is finally released into the wild, will I embark on a Safari 2.0? Will you?

The real question here is whether I will be able to utilize Safari in place of Firefox. In recent months Firefox has become more than my default browser. With the aid of some rock solid extensions, Firefox is now my FTP client, mail app, RSS reader, CSS editor… and (thanks again to certain extensions) I can make Firefox bend to my will. In other words, I can browse how I want to browse. It’s all about control really.

Firefox is undeniably a slug though. Compared to Safari, Firefox is about as fast as my mom’s ’85 Chevy Celebrity Wagon that I learned to drive on (0 to 60 in about… well, a minute and a half… downhill… with the wind at its back), while Safari flies like my dad’s ’89 Toyota Supra Turbo that he once asked me to stop looking at (in fear that I might drool on myself or, more tragically, it). Clearly, this is hyperbole (new vocab!). If Firefox was really that slow, I would not use it.

In addition to it’s speed advantages, Safari 2.0 is going to feature a RSS news aggregator built right into the browser. That’ll be hot! And, I’m sure that it will be done in that magical Apple way. You know what I’m talking about… the so simple and elegant, why didn’t I think of that? way.

More than likely, here is what is going to happen: I will embark on a Safari 2.0 adventure (more out of curiosity than anything else). As I hunt and tame the elusive Tiger, I’m bound to stumble upon the tracks of the legendary Firefox, her tail ablaze in a glowing promise of liberating extensions and properly rendering HTML. Perhaps I’ll abandon the jungle Safari and follow the tracks back home. Or maybe, the current expedition will prove too advantageous to abandon. We’ll see. Only 8 days left to go…

So what’s it gonna be? Safari 2.0 or Firefox? Your thoughts?

Apple will indeed have “special events” planned at Apple Stores for the April 29 Tiger release. The events (most probably include the privilege of being whipped by Tiger trainers (a.k.a. Apple Store employees) while waiting patiently to be let into the store) will begin at 6pm Cupertino time. For us here on the eastern coast, the special events will commence at 9pm. I think. I’ll have to double-check that.

There is a convoy being organized. Yep, a great big convoy. It’ll be rockin’ through the night. Or, at least to the Apple Store in Connecticut. So far, the convoy consists of four people carpooling to the Westfarms Mall. You want in? Send me an email… oh, and if it’s not too much trouble, call me the Rubber Duck.

Hmmm… in retrospect, this won’t be much of a convoy. It’ll be more closely related to a field trip. In a cramped compact sedan. Full of special people. Who don’t get out much. It’ll be a hoot!

’cause we got a great big convoy
Rockin’ through the night.
Yeah, we got a great big convoy,
Ain’t she a beautiful sight?
Come on and join our convoy
Ain’t nothin’ gonna get in our way.
We gonna roll this truckin’ convoy
‘cross the u-s-a.
Convoy!