Suicide Rabbit Needs Pie For Her Goat Plug

Finder windows should have tabbed browsing just like Safari.

Wouldn’t that rock? Doesn’t that make so much sense? Someone code that up. I’ll buy you a donut.

Exercise 1: Imagine that you aren’t a Mac/Tech geek. Now reread the first sentence of this post (I’ll paste it below, you lazy bastard).

Finder windows should have tabbed browsing just like Safari.

Now doesn’t that sentence seem like some sort of secret agent code? Like, “The clock strikes toast at the mall of your mind” or “Suicide rabbit needs pie for her goat plug” or… nevermind.

Anyway, that’s all. Oh, right… someone code me up a finder replacement that adds tabs to finder windows. The reward stands at one donut (of your choice) for successful implementation of tabbed browsing in finder windows. Good luck and godspeed.

UPDATE: Andy Budd knows what I’m talking about. That image came from his site too.

Downward Spiraling Torrent of Poo

Yesterday, I watched most of Metallica’s documentary Some Kind of Monster. It was… um, different than I had expected.

(begin rambling digression)

I can still remember hearing Metallica for the first time. Let me see if I can paint an accurate mental picture of my life 16 years ago… just to set the mood: It was circa 1989. I was 11 or 12 years old (oh my god… I’m an old man). I never left the house without my skateboard (a Per Welinder street model, as I recall). I was in the process of growing a nice rat tail… you know, a long tuft of hair that descended from the back of my head. Yep, I was one stylish pre-adolescent (come to think of it, that’s probably why I am bald now… the Gods of Good Hair are punishing me for having such bad hair). As far as music went, I was listening to whatever butt-rock MTV threw in my direction; Bon Jovi, Poison, Motley Crap… Until one glorious day, when my good friend, Brendan Walsh (no, not Brandon Walsh) took me into his basement and played an audio cassette that forever changed my life. It was Metallica’s last great album, …And Justice for All.

…And Justice for All was like nothing I had ever heard before. It was dark. It was aggressive. It was fast. It was precise. The distortion was overpowering, yet somehow smooth and accurate. The percussion was tight and it never seemed to fit within the confines of standard 4/4 rock drumming. The vocals… those magical James Hetfield vocals… growled with a subtle tonality that lead the uncompromising music into a realm of epic intensity. And the signature rasp at the end of each lyrical progression… no one has been able to do that like James did.

As I had mentioned though, …And Justice for All was Metallica’s last great album. With the release of their next album, the Black album, Metallica began a downward spiraling torrent of poo that has yet to conclude. But that’s not really what this post is about. I’m sure you can google “Metallica” and “poo torrent” and come up with a bizillion rant pages about how Metallica sold out. What this post is [supposed to be] about, is the Metallica documentary.

(end rambling digression)

As I watched Some Kind of Monster, I found these themes to be prevalent throughout the film: frustration, anger, regret, uncoolness, receding hairline, feelings, etc… However, the following is a list of what I wanted from the film: footage from the 80’s (when Metallica still rocked), more hair, drunken rowdiness, tight black jeans, explosions, etc… Needless to say, I was a bit disappointed.

For me however, the highlight of the documentary was the Dave Mustaine part. Dave was kicked out of the band early on. I think it was a drinking problem, or maybe he was just a jerk… tough to imagine Mustaine as a jerk… I know. But, bear with me. Dave and Lars (Metallica drummer) sit down and have a little heart-to-heart. It was simply great to hear these two rock legends sit down and politely whine to each other. It was almost like a “who’s more washed-up” competition. It was great.

And now, my final comment:

I may have thought that I wanted to see Metallica in a group therapy session… but in actuality, I just wanted them to be cool again.

the end.

Epiphany

Life is too uncomfortable as is, to have to tuck in my shirt. From now on, the shirt stays untucked. Yee-haw!

Thank you for your time.

Saving the Day… Again

My pal from the far off desert lands of Arizona sent me a surprise package. It arrived yesterday, it was full of little Pez creatures, and it totally made my day. The following is the return email that I sent to her… with a blow-by-blow account of the pez/alien encounter:

You’ll never guess what happened today… so don’t even try. Instead, let me tell you: a mysterious package landed at my back doorstep. A mysterious package postmarked with a mysterious zip code. The zip code started with an 8… “What the…? Do they even go up that high?” Upon further inspection, I realized that the package hailed from the land of AZ. Clearly, this was an alien package. And, it was probably full of alien radiation. And the alien radiation was probably going to mutate me into some sort of super-being. So, without hesitation, I tore into the package, thrust my face into the newly formed opening, and inhaled deeply. Nothing. No mutation what-so-ever. “What a rip-off!” I exclaimed. While my face was still firmly inserted in the alien packaging, I noticed a small group… a humble assemblage… a wee congregation… of tiny alien creatures.

They had no visible appendages, and seemed to be comprised entirely of insect components atop brightly colored plastic boxes. I recognized them immediately as a threat. In my quick thinking/over-reacting, I snapped their necks… one by one… until they were a threat no more.

“Phew! That was a close call. Earth is safe once again… thanks to me. I deserve cake!” What I noticed however… after I killed them, that is… is that their innards are full of tiny, rectangular fuel cells. What powers these alien creatures, is very similar to what we earthlings call, “candy.” Bonus! I get to save the day and eat candy. Things are really looking up for mankind…