Month: January 2005

BoingBoing, the giver of everything worthwhile on the internet, has pointed us to an amazing manufacturer of sculptures/action figures of characters from classic (some surrealist) paintings. BoingBoing talks primarily about Hieronymus Bosch… one of my favs (too bad we only talked about him for about 6 seconds in Art Survey I). Bosch’s depiction of evil and demons, is like no other. The traditional demon appearance; red, horns, tail, etc…, is replaced by demons exhibiting a cleverly crafted blend of human, insect, and animal features. The torturers and the tortured souls in Bosch’s Garden of Delights (the right panel of the triptych) are grotesque and beautiful. So good! So goth!

Back to the point: Some of Hieronymus Bosch’s most recognized characters are now action figures! You know you’ve always wanted to act out ghoulish scenes of morbid and surreal torture in your own living room! Now you can! Well, you could probably be morbid and surreal in your living room without the help of Hieronymus Bosch action figures… but that’s not the point. The point is that now you can bring to life the horrors of Bosch’s own personal hell.

Isn’t that exciting? Yes, it is.

Also worth noting are the Dali, Pieter Breughel, and Escher sections. But where’s the Francisco de Goya? An obvious oversight. I would love a Saturn Devouring His Son action figure playset. I would devour my own children to get one. Currently, I don’t have any children… and there’s probably a good reason for that.

The press operator just lost her thumb in the printing press.

There is blood everywhere.

It took them a while to find it.

I called 911.

My boss picked up the thumb and put it in a bag on ice.

The press operator went into shock.

The paramedics gave her morphine and took her away in an ambulance.

My boss drew an X where he found the thumb.

I took photos.

Hey peeps… Just a heads up: sambot.com might look funky over the next few days. Version 2.0 is right around the corner. So, I’ll be doing some live beta testing. Blog on!

I survived my first teaching experience. The students didn’t skin me alive and hang my discarded flesh sack on the doorknob of Mac Lab 1… as I thought they might. You know… just to send a message to the other n00b instructors. They’ve got to make an example out of one of us… or so I’ve read.

Anyway, I think it went well. We just went over the syllabus and did some boring stuff like that. It was still really fun… and I think/hope that once my students/minions really get into it, they will have some fun too. Oh… and learn stuff. Right. Learning. That’s important… or so I have read.

I did however, tell them that I’m an avid listener and huge fan of Swedish Black Metal. I wonder if that was a good idea?

I am about to leave to teach for the first time. Holy crap. I’m a ball of nerves. It’s guaranteed to go well though… I’m wearing my lucky glow-in-the-dark skull boxers. What could possibly go wrong?

I’ll post later with the gory details… but in the mean time, you can check out Syllabus Version 1.0.

I got the gig. I will be teaching the fine art of Graphic Design to budding graphic designers! Yee-haw! I’m stoked. Wicked stoked. Hella stoked.

You can now call me Professor Sam… or The Professor… or Supreme Overlord… but if anyone calls me Mr. “S” I’m going to react violently.

It has been over a week since my last post. Yep, I’m a slacker. Keep in mind, I could make excuses… I could try to tell you that I have been doing exceptional things with my time… in short, I could lie. But I will not do that to you, O’ beloved reader. Instead, I will tell you about this:

There is a possibility that yours truly will be corrupting… sorry, enhancing the minds of today’s college elite. I was asked to teach Graphic Design to college students. I was a college student just over a year ago. Craziness! Utter insanity… It is not definite. The dude that I would be replacing seems to be a real flake. Classes started yesterday and he has yet to tell the college whether he will or will not be able to teach (it is a long and boring story). Anyway, I should find out today.

The future of America may very well rest in my hands. Isn’t that a comforting thought?

At this juncture, I cannot help but think of the poignant words of Professor Glen Danzig: “Am I demon? I need to know.” Glen, so do I. If I’m demon, I should probably rework my syllabus… before I pollute the minds of those innocent, defenseless, trusting college youths…

It’s over. The MacWorld ’05 Keynote is done. Many happy new toys to pine over… like the Mac Mini, the iPod Shuffle, iWork, iLife, Final Cut Express. Well done everyone. Pats on the back for all!

So, let’s do the final scoring:

From the rumors, I predicted:

– Flash-memory based iPod: Probably

– Hardware Audio Interface (a.k.a. Asteroid?): Not Likely

– iWork Office Productivity Suite: Probably

– $499 Headless iMac (a.k.a. the iHome): Probably

– iPhone: Not a chance in hell

Not too bad. I was sort of right on all of them… missed a few updates though.

Now, let’s discuss the new goodies:

I’m mostly excited about the Mac Mini. $499 and $599. Cute and Tiny. This is the kind of machine that would make an ideal mp3 jukebox/media center type thingy. My only hesitation is the fact that you’ll need to buy a ton of stuff to get this machine up to speed. Keyboard, mouse, Bluetooth, Airport… and all of this needs to be purchased separately. Not to mention that 40gb is a bit weak for the $499 model (assuming you’ll use it as a media center… which is only an idea. I guess 40gb is ok for general use. I’d kill that 40 in a heartbeat… and I ain’t talkin’ ’bout no forty ounces of the O.E.). Still though… this is what Apple needs. If only I wasn’t on such a tight budget these days…

Next up is iWork. I’m all for an Apple branded Productivity suite. Will it do everything that Office can? I doubt it. Will it take the place of Office in the workplace? Probably not. Will it suffice for the student or someone who doesn’t need all of the extraneous stuff that exists in Office? Probably. It’s a much needed and well timed successor to the dated Appleworks. (Cool packaging too!)

Ok… The iPod Shuffle. Why am I not really excited about this? The price is right. The capacity is right. Oh… that’s it, no display of any kind. That alone makes it a “no go” for me. What saves it though, is the ability to double as a usb flash drive. That’s pretty cool. It’s the size of many flash drives too. So, if you look at it as a usb flash drive that also plays mp3s… i guess that makes it ok. Well, at least better. But no display? Come on now…

I think that’s enough for now. The other stuff isn’t too thrilling (for me anyway). I think I’ll let things sink in for a little while. I’m sure this isn’t the last MacWorld ’05 related post. That’s a promise. Or, a threat. I guess it all depends on where you stand on the matter.

Oh… a favor: If anyone is at the expo this week, check out the Crumpler Bags (booth #2339) booth for me. I’ll be very interested to see what they have in store for their product line. Photo’s too (if you can)! Thanks! That would rock… Enjoy the expo!

As of 12:40, the online Apple Store is down. You know what that means… New toys are on their way!!!

It begins…