Month: December 2004

Snow! It rocks. I know it’s inconvenient and wet and cold… but hot damn! I just love it. I love looking at it, listening to it, touching it, eating it. I love wearing a sweatshirt underneath my jacket. I love watching movies while it’s snowing outside. I love wearing boots. I love coming inside and drinking coffee. I love tromping around in fresh snow…

I also enjoy long walks on the beach, candle-lit dinners, romantic movies, and… Oh, wait. That’s for a different website.

We entered Winter once again

Naked, freezing from my breath

‘Neath the lid, all limbs tucked away

This coffin is your abode from now and onwards

-The Leper Affinity (Opeth)

I am burned out.

Need beer. Need burrito. Need bed.

This weekend should be nice though. I’m going to see my pal Todd in NYC. Todd is the coolest. He loves with his fists. I’ll probably come home with battle scars. I will be sure to snap some photos.

That’s all I can muster for now. More later…

Clearly, I’m insane. This is nothing new to the people who know me well. The following inventory should be used as documentable proof of my dementia. Use it responsibly… I hear insanity is contagious.

List of things that I currently carry in my pockets at all times:

1. Keys

2. Mini Mag-Lite (attached to keys)

3. Leatherman SideClip

4. Pilot Precise V7 Rolling Ball Pen (red)

5. Burt’s Bees, Beeswax Lip Balm (.30 oz.tin)

6. Sony Ericsson T-610 bluetooth camera fone

7. Wallet with all the appropriate accouterments (thanks Sarah)

8. Collapsable travel toothbrush

Total Current Weight = 1.24 lbs. (according to the FedEx scale at work)

In addition to the above, I often carry the following:

9. Palm Tungsten E with 64mb expansion card

10. 20gb Second generation iPod

11. Sharpie Fine Point Marker (black)

Total Additional Weight = 1.16 lbs.

Total Weight = 2.4 lbs.

Why do I carry so much crud around with me? I have no idea. How do my pants stay up? I have even less of an idea. What I do know however, is that I couldn’t imagine facing the day without all of that stuff. What about you? How much gear do you carry around?

“Then suddenly out of the gloom came a sharp hiss. ‘What has it got in its pocketses?'” – Gollum

Yesterday was a weird day. All day long it just felt weird. There were anxious moments… I sat through a meeting discussing the upcoming uncertainties at work. There were depressing moments… I worked on a photograph of a friend’s grandfather, who is not doing well. There were awkward moments… conversations that didn’t quite flow (but have since been resolved). Fun moments… hanging out with some current housemates as well as housemate alumni. And, then there were frightening moments…

Here’s the gist: Last night, at 2 a.m., some random stranger entered my apartment, climbed the stairs, and attempted to invade the bedrooms (and occupy the beds… much to the surprise of those bed’s current occupants) on the second floor. My quick-thinking housemate, took charge of the situation and promptly ejected this dude from our apartment. No one was harmed. Nothing was stolen. I, living on third floor, basically slept through the entire incident.

That shit is fucked up. I don’t really know how else to put it.

The most important thing here is that my second floor peeps seem to be ok, albeit slightly shaken up.

Anyway… I’ve been on the internet all morning trying to find a place where I can order an ED-209 to patrol the downstairs while we sleep. That mofo is brutal. It nearly destroyed RoboCop. If only it could walk down stairs…

Sambot.com has hit a very important milestone this morning. Yes, there comes a time in every young blogger’s life where she or he must confront this demon. It’s inevitable, evil, and uncalled for. Yet, it’s also a sign of growth… an indication that this little blog is reaching out and touching the lives of the belligerent. Touching them right in grundle.

At this point, I’d like to call attention to my very first hostile comment to a post (and of course, it was posted by Anonymous). It came late last night, to my second post (posted Tuesday, October 26, 2004 at 4:03 pm) entitled, New iPods. I care… don’t I? Here it is… oh, pay special attention to the “apple sucks ass” opening and closing tags (as any web monkey knows, it’s crucial to close those tags… some impressive html here!):

apple sucks ass

that is why you did not buy it sammy

(remember ipods have awful sound for an insanely high price. ipod=ipiss)

apple sucks ass

See… isn’t that nice? I feel like I’m really doing something worthwhile for the community. Anyway, I truly feel like an adult blogger now. It’s like I just had my Blog-Mitzvah! And now, I’m a man.

*NEWS FLASH* I’ve just noticed that there is another stellar comment! This time it was posted to Ummm… Nice Socks. Again, brilliant in it’s simplicity: “apple sucks.” Oh, Anonymous… one day we shall know your true identity. Hopefully then, we will understand your rage…

Apparently, I’m all about the linkage today…

Would you like to know what your favorite cartoon character’s skeleton looks like? I know that I would. Here is a gallery by Michael Paulus displaying his interpretations of the skeletal structure of some well known cartoon heros. Totally brilliant!

Have you ever asked yourself, “What would happen if zombies took over my town?” I know that I have. Have you ever asked yourself the follow up question, “What would I do if zombies took over my town?” The answer is probably, die at the hands of the walking dead, or even worse, become a zombie yourself. Do you want to know why you would fail so pathetically? Because you’ve never seen Gabriel Koenig’s How to Survive a Zombie Epidemic. Click here to download it… if you know what’s good for you.

Well, I said that I’d never do it, but here I am. Posting to my blog, drunk. Drunk as a skunk. I’ve got “Let he who hath understanding” tattooed in black ink on the underneath of my left forearm. I think that it’s pen. I hope that it’s pen.

Anyway, I just spent the last half hour listening to Black Sabbath. The early stuff. The good stuff. The Paranoid stuff. I think now it’s time to finish up with some Danzig. Oh, Glen Danzig, where are you when I need you? I mean, Obi Wan was there for Luke when he needed him… and he was dead! Where are you Glen? My mentor, my teacher, my master…

demon i am and face i peel

to see your skin turned inside out, ’cause

gotta have you on my wall

gotta have you on my wall, ’cause

i want your skulls

i need your skulls

I’m a good employee… Really. I mean, I was only two hours late to work today. In the grand scheme of things, what’s two hours? I guess that my motivation has been in downward spiral mode ever since the incident.

The interesting thing is that I brought in a dozen donuts for the office today. Instead of my three bosses being peeved about my tardiness, they treated me like a hero. Only in this country would a box of deep fried, candy coated, glaze encrusted, sprinkle wearing, chocolate creme infused, sugar death bombs, make up for slacking at work.

Mmm… sugar death bombs…

Being sick undeniably blows ass. There are a few perks however:

1) You get to make really gross noises

2) You hallucinate (at least I do)

3) Sympathy

4) You get to make really gross noises (did I mention that already?)

Anyway, I think the worst of it is behind me. But fear not, the gross noises will prevail… regardless of my health!

Oh… and I was forced to miss the Pixies show last night. The Pixies. The fucking Pixies. In their goddamn home town. Fuck!